Why Bother?

It has been two whirlwind years since I have last posted on my blog and part of that is because every time I sit down to write I start thinking, Why bother? What do I have to say on any given topic? Is my voice unique or am I adding to the noise of the internet? Honestly I don't know, but here is where I'm at. I am on a journey. I have made feeble attempts over the years to take care of myself, but I have neglected much in the name of Motherhood. 

But my chicks are growing. Our family culture is being shaped everyday. I am smack dab in the middle of this holy assignment to disciple these three little humans and that job is daunting at best and draining! My mommy soul must be connected to the Lord and filled with Him so that what pours out of me is His Love, His Truth, His Beauty. That connection is not just one way. My response to Him is worship and creation; taking that which He gives me and exercising it out into my life. 

Currently I am a jumble of disorganized thoughts and energies. If the Lord were to say to me right now, "Jaime, I'd like you to (write a book...direct a play...fill in the blank)." I don't know that I would even hear Him, let alone be ready and able to take those steps of obedience. Thus the direction of my journey becomes a little more clear. My word for 2015 is Discipline. The need for discipline in many areas of my life is deeply felt and one part of this practice is writing. Writing for the sake of writing; the simple discipline of organizing my thoughts on paper or a blog for no other purpose than to be in the habit of doing it. My hope is that I will be able to process some of these things in my heart and in doing so start making steps forward. So my mommy soul will be connected and therefore more engaged in this homemaking journey.

So for now, that's why I bother.